The importance of self-care as a carer

As a parent carer, Mum Claire highlights the importance of self-care.

Those in this role need to take their own needs into account by looking after their health and energy reserves.

Here she shares her personal take on what self-care means to her.

 

 

As they saying goes, we need to don our own oxygen masks before helping others with theirs. And this sentiment is never truer than for those of us who take on a caring role. Self-care comes in many forms; from drinking enough water, making time for doctors’ appointments, getting some fresh air daily or making time to chat and offload to friends on the phone.

Claire is mum to Ryan and Noah and Ryan has a dual diagnosis of Down’s syndrome and autism. Claire recently wrote an update on his progress on our blog; Getting the Future Right for Ryan.

Whilst time away alone might not be possible for everyone, this has become an oasis for Claire and something that she feels helps her become a better parent carer. She reflects on life with Ryan and what her time away meant to her here:

 

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Written by Ryan’s mum Claire

 

Parent Carers

I’m currently writing this sitting in front of a log burner fire in a beautiful house, set in Wasdale in The Lake District. The house is right on the lake surrounded by hills and the setting could not be anymore relaxing and calming. This is a retreat, where I can escape reality for a weekend and take stock of my life.

Everyone needs a break sometimes, but for parents navigating life with children with special needs, it’s important to find time to look after ourselves.

The constant worry, stress, struggles with day to day life and even heavy lifting definitely take a toll physically on our bodies. But just as importantly it takes it a toll on our mental health. Do you ever just feel exhausted day after day? So tired by the time you go to bed but dreading getting up in the morning and doing it all over again? That’s a sign to look for support and ring-fence some care for yourself.

Looking after Myself

When I’m at home I sometimes struggle to look after myself properly. Often, I’m fixated on looking after everyone else. When I just think about what we do at home on a daily basis it can be exhausting. There’s getting the boys up and making breakfast for Ryan (Noah is getting better at doing his own breakfast!), then washing up.

Caring Role

Ryan needs support to get ready and put his clothes on. Going out on trips with the wheelchair is quite an operation in itself.  Supporting him with his care needs can feel endless too. And we have to have our little routine/game every night as he goes to bed (otherwise he would have a meltdown if we didn’t follow his routine).

Then there’s the constant getting up and down when Ryan shouts for us (he’s definitely the boss in our house!). All this, along with all the normal household chores we do. It can feel monotonous day after day. Is it any wonder sometimes my body just gives up and thinks it needs some rest and time for myself?

I enjoy these respite weekends away because it forces me (in a good way!) to focus on me and me alone. I only have myself to get up and sort out in the morning. I’ve been reading my book, a complete novelty! The snoozing, walks and delicious food have all been welcome. Spending some quality time with my fab friends and just sitting doing nothing in between our different sessions has been a godsend. And you can never get tired of looking at the amazing view!

I’ve got to say that however much I enjoy the time to myself, I look forward to going home refreshed and recharged. I can’t wait for the hugs and kisses from my boys and feeling ready to tackle whatever life may throw at us again.

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The DSA’s complex needs groups
You can join the DSA’s closed Facebook group for parents, family members and carers of children or adults with complex needs or with a dual diagnosis of Down’s syndrome and autism spectrum condition.

Support sessions
Did you know the DSA hosts special support sessions for parents and family carers of children or adults with complex needs or a dual diagnosis of Down’s syndrome and autism spectrum disorder? You can find out more about them and information in general about Down’s syndrome and complex needs here.

We also hold free Well-being Wednesday sessions for parents and family carers. Each week, you will be introduced and guided through a meditation/relaxation exercise or some gentle movement which you can do in the comfort of your own home. Find out more here.