Claire got in touch with us to share an update on her son Ryan. She has written about their family for the Down’s Syndrome Association blog before.
Now, with Ryan turning 16, she wanted to share her hopes and worries as they make choices for his independence together.
Ryan is 16 this year
The future… two little words but lots of fear.
Claire says: ‘Ryan has a wicked sense of humour.’
Ryan will be 16 this year, those past years have flown and now it feels like it’s time we started contemplating his future and what that might look like. However, it feels like a minefield. Where do you start? What do you look for? Where do you turn for help?
There’s so much to think about, so much to get right. The pressure to get the future right for Ryan is immense, at the end of the day we are ultimately responsible for his future life and what that may look like. So we are thinking about his likes, dislikes, what makes him happy, how independent he can be.
A big one for me is thinking about Ryan not living with us and somebody else caring for him on a daily basis, can I trust someone to do that? Right now I’m not sure I can, when he’s with us I know he is safe and loved, over time we’ve built up a good relationship with respite, I know when he goes there he is safe and well looked after, but I also know after 3 nights he will be home again. It may sound selfish but how do I let him go? In my heart I know he deserves a life of his own, to live as independently as possible, have friends and do things that make him happy. And as his mum I want that for him, but I also want to protect him, I need to know that he is safe.
I will stop at nothing to make sure he lives
a happy and independent life.
Brotherly love: Ryan and Noah
Being a parent is one of the hardest things I have done, I not only worry about Ryan’s future but also his younger brother Noah. I can guide and advise Noah as much as possible, but at the end of the day I know he will make his own decisions on where his life goes. But he can also voice when he is unhappy or needs help, something which Ryan can’t do. We as parents are Ryan’s voice for the future, can we shout loud enough to be heard, to make the best possible future for him?
Planning your future should be exciting and maybe a little bit scary thinking about what that might look like, but at the moment thinking about Ryan’s future fills me with dread and anxiety.
However hard and difficult it may be though, and how ever long it will take, I’m determined to do the best we can for Ryan and his future, one day at a time. After all, he deserves a happy and as independent as possible life like anyone else. As his mum I will stop at nothing to make sure he gets exactly that.
You can read more about Ryan and Mum Claire Wathen’s journey on our website here:
Down’s Syndrome, Autism and Me.
And Breathe… Taking Some Time Out for Me!
You can read Claire’s blog Our Upside Down Life or buy her book A Different Path.
For other families at the same stage, there is more information about Transition and Independence
and Housing and Support from your Local Authority.
