‘LOVE is what we circle back to, amidst the highs and lows.’
Written by Caleb’s mum, Gemma
Caleb was born on 21 April 2021…an appropriate date for our little man as it seems 21 is his lucky number!
He came almost two weeks early and was in quite a rush to get here to put his stamp on the world. He immediately wanted to be fed and he has been our little milk monster ever since!
Naively, when we received his diagnosis a few hours after he was born, I assumed that I would not be able to breastfeed him – even though he already had a few feeds in him by this stage! In the beginning he needed to be bottle-fed expressed milk as he was sleepy and gaining weight slowly. However he exceeded our expectations and one day latched on and he hasn’t stopped guzzling down the milk ever since!
We are four months into our journey with Caleb, albeit on a different path to the one we had imagined. In the very early days I worried about what his diagnosis would mean for him, for his future and for us as a family.
Now I realise that he’s just Caleb, our happy, smiley little boy! He happens to have an extra chromosome, but it doesn’t define him. We are enjoying the journey he is taking us on and learning along the way. Yes, the path is different, but not less.
Of course I still have the days when I worry or think too far ahead, but Caleb is teaching me to slow down and take each day as it comes. If we worry too much about the future, we miss all the little things that happen around us. I am grateful for the lessons he is teaching me and I am sure there will be plenty more to come!!
I will never forget the look on my daughter Clara’s face the day we brought Caleb home. The way her face lit up when she saw him showed me unconditional love in its truest form. It is heart warming to watch their bond grow and develop. My only worry for the future now is what sort of mischief they will get up to together and how I will cope when they gang up on me!
This journey of highs, lows, twists and turns has been like a rollercoaster. Luckily, I love rollercoasters and this one is turning out to be an exhilarating ride!
When Caleb was around 10 weeks old, I wrote this poem. It helped me recognise and process my emotions. I reread this on the hard days to remind myself it’s ok to feel like this because parenting is hard and you do worry. I worry about both of my children regardless of their chromosome count, it’s just part of the job!
Rollercoaster of Love
LOVE overflowed when you were placed into my arms.
I promised you then that you would come to no harm.
SHOCKED is what I felt, you came with a big surprise!
But you were just my perfect little boy when I looked into your eyes.
WORRY came next, what would the future hold?
Things would be a bit more difficult, or so we were told.
SADNESS floated in, I am ashamed to say. “Why me?” I asked the doctors.
I regret it to this day.
JOY filled me up when you gave my finger a little squeeze!
“What are we worried about?”
This will be a breeze!
GRATEFUL you choose me as your mum. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Excited for what lies ahead and what the future may bring.
DETERMINED to be your advocate. In this journey we call life.
I will try my utmost to be your guiding light.
THANKFUL you have that little something extra that really makes you shine.
You’re eyes light up and sparkle, every time you smile.
LOVE is what we circle back to, amidst the highs and lows.
The future is yours to shape. I can’t wait to watch you grow.