Inclusive Education for All #9
16 March 2022 by Chris Barnes, Inclusive Education Officer, Down Syndrome International
As you are no doubt fully aware, building and maintaining a positive, working relationship with your child’s school is crucial, particularly if your child has special educational needs, or a disability.
The education system (and certain educators) can be extremely frustrating, and at times it can seem like all common sense and reasoning has gone out of the window. A balanced and strong mindset is required to tease out the positives, appropriate support, and information, and get the best out of your child’s school.
Later in the campaign I will be looking at how a teacher/school can best build a relationship with the parents/family of a learner with special educational needs and/or a disability, so please don’t feel it’s all up to you as a parent to cultivate this relationship – it’s not!
However, no-one knows or loves your child as much as you, so it’s up to you to play your part in this two-way partnership.
In this video, parent Lindsay McCulloch explains how she has worked with her daughter’s educational setting…
A good parent/school relationship is all about real, honest, and regular communication.
Listen to the school with an open mindset, even if you disagree!
Try to get to know your child’s teacher(s), even if that requires short, informal meetings (virtual or face-to-face), or a series of emails.
Don’t be tempted to bombard staff with needs and requirements straight away; give the school time to do their job; they need to get to know your child – what they like/dislike, how they work and what makes them tick. Let them learn from failure rather than expecting 100% success immediately.
For school staff, as with children, learning through trial & error, problem solving and adaption tends to lead to more sure foundations on which to build, rather than following a script or multiple, detailed instructions.
However, it goes without saying, there will quite probably be a whole host of information that school will need to know, (e.g., medical requirements, physical accommodations, professional reports, EHCP, etc.) that you can give to them – or explain to them – before your child starts (if possible).
Try to build a relationship with your child’s teacher(s) and support staff – it may be a learning support assistant that you build the best bond with.
Regular, short conversations are the ultimate goal but naturally difficult to achieve for all involved. Your child’s school should set up a home/school communication system, e.g., diary, where staff can record brief notes about your child’s day, and you can ask questions or write comments etc. If this doesn’t happen, suggest it after you’ve built a good rapport.
With busy and hectic lives at times, it can be hard to engage with all school events and activities.
Try hard to support and take part in what the school is offering; fulfil donation requests and volunteer when you can – school will love you for it. With good effort on your part, you will be better placed to make requests and suggestions when you inevitably need to!
Fingers crossed you won’t be inundated with too many issues that require your direct input.
If things aren’t going well, if you or your child aren’t happy, or if school aren’t keeping to their end of the bargain, arrange a meeting with senior staff. This can be a tricky situation, particularly if you are at risk of getting upset/angry or if school have been fobbing you off for a while. Jot down your notes beforehand and consider taking someone with you for moral support. Sandwich your concerns/disappointments with any positives you can, at the beginning and end of meetings – this can help to reduce anxiety and awkwardness. Be sure to take notes during the discussion, and politely ask if school will give feedback after an agreed time to update on decided actions.
Finally, pick your battles!
If you complain about everything, the time you really need things to change, your requests may fall on deaf ears.
Some of the best advice I have been given, by parents across the UK:
- ‘If your child is happy and has some friends, that is a great base from which to move forwards.’
- ‘Academic achievement is second to a feeling of inclusion/belonging/well-being.’
- ‘Be patient, but firm with school. Ensure they know what you expect for your child.’
- ‘Positive collaboration with school will benefit your child more than conflict.’
There’s still time to register for our World Down Syndrome Day webinar on Inclusive Education. Drop Chris an email to find out more.
Keep up to date with all the latest campaign news by signing up to the mailing list…just click the image below!
