Raymond Howard Wright, 7 January 1952 – 1 April 2020
Raymond Howard Wright was born on the 7 January 1952 in Enfield, the youngest of four siblings, two sisters and a brother. Now the world was obviously a very different place in the early 1950s, perhaps particularly so for those with Down’s syndrome, and many people with Down’s syndrome were routinely institutionalised from a young age. Not so Raymond, whose mother was insistent on his remaining with his family, despite receiving very little external support.
Ray was to live very happily with his mother until she was 88. Being the 1950s, Ray had little access to formal education but this did not stop him from learning and developing a wide range of interests throughout his life. Ray’s mother taught him to recognise the alphabet in upper case letters; Ray loved being out and about with his mum and learning about life through her. He had a great love and knowledge of cars and loved collecting car memorabilia, including an almost complete collection of car tax discs he was very proud of.
The most important thing in Ray’s life was his family. One of his great joys was to play with his nieces and nephews and, as time went on, great nieces and nephews too, who all adored him. Ray went on to live with his sister, Bernadette, for many years after his mother’s death. Here one of his first wishes was to achieve his long standing desire to grow a beard, a goal he had always been dissuaded from by his mum!
Further achievements were to follow when Ray joined Turnford College where he developed his interest and skills in painting, drawing, pottery and cooking. He was rightly proud of his food hygiene certificate he achieved and displayed it at home. Ray developed an interest in pool, joining the Comrades Pool Club where he made many friends and developed a very creative take on the game; another of his great collections, pool cues, arose from this interest. He greatly loved to watch snooker on the television too.
Ray’s skills and interests led him to many different jobs throughout his life, each one offering him the chance to build new friendships as well as earn money. For a long time, Ray worked for two days a week in the Acre Stores community grocers shop, Geddings, where he loved to talk to customers and meet new people. He also spent time in a workshop packing fertilizer pellets, collating fixings packs for self-assembly furniture and packing pipe filters for an up-market smoking emporium in central London.
Family remained Ray’s greatest source of enjoyment. He often expressed a wish that he would have liked to become a father, a wish his sister Bernadette helped to fulfil by making him honorary dad of her border collie Daisy, who would send him a ‘father’s’ day card every year, complete with paw print!
In his mid sixties, by which time Ray had developed dementia, time became right for him to move into a care home. Never an easy time or decision for any family but one which was a positive outcome for Ray and his family. Ray was very happy in has new home, a small establishment with only six residents who became like a second family to him. He told his sister the home was the ‘big white house with a garage (for his car collections!)’ that he had always wanted to live in. When Ray sadly passed away, from complications arising from his heart condition, he was able to have his family and friends from the home with him.
This story was sent in by Up on Downs support group based in Hertfordshire.
