Maxwell Macleod was born on World Down Syndrome Day 2014.
Every year since then, his Mum Molly has written a piece for us to mark his birthday.
Here is her post for World Down Syndrome Day 2024, as Maxwell turns 10!
Maxwell is 10! Double digits, how quickly those years have gone and how much we’ve all grown.
Maxwell and his big sister.
10 years ago, I knew nothing about Down Syndrome. It was 5.30pm on a Friday night when we were given our prenatal diagnosis, so there were no consultants available to speak to. I was told to phone the local Down Syndrome support group and to come back the following Tuesday to tell them what we wanted to do about the baby. The mother I spoke to told me that having a child with special needs is like being given a key to a secret part of the world that only some people have the privilege to be given. I often think about that quote, and what a wonderful way it is of looking at the experience of parenting a child with complex needs.
Having Maxwell has certainly opened our eyes to the world in a very different way and I will be forever grateful to her, and others, who’s guidance enabled us to be confident enough to make the decision to keep our baby.
It has been a hard journey at times, with challenges and obstacles to overcome, most of which have nothing to do with Maxwell but are about navigating the system that is supposed to support us but that often ends up causing frustration and confusion instead. However, there are many individuals in the system who are wonderful people, and they all adore Maxwell.
The other children and families we’ve met along the way have become such an inspiration, and we have made some amazing friends.
All the children we’ve met, no matter what their additional needs, really demonstrate what humanity is all about. They remind us that what’s important is connection and acceptance, to feel we belong and that we’re contributing to our community.
Maxwell certainly shows me how to do this every day.
I love his confidence to say hello to anyone and everyone we walk past, his ability to engage them in conversation even if they think they don’t have time. They slow down just for a minute to say hello back or to answer his question about their outfit or their dog or some other detail that’s caught his eye. He’s built relationships with those we see often, such as the shop owners and the hairdressers, he lights up their day every time we visit and they always have a smile on their face when we leave. What a talent that is, to make everyone’s day a bit happier and brighter, wherever you go!
I think back over the last 10 years and all that we’ve achieved and learnt as a family because of Maxwell. We’ve become softer, more compassionate and empathetic, happier with what we have and the lives we live, braver about our dreams for the future.
I think about the next 10 years and what we might achieve. Maxwell has his first day at secondary school to look forward to, his post 16 choices. Hopefully his first relationship and first home independently from us.
It all seems so daunting and grown up but, as ever, I’m sure he’ll guide us through it.
His personality is asserting itself in all kinds of ways at the moment. He’s choosing his own clothes and it’s fascinating to see his sense of style developing, he definitely favours a dapper look (pink and purple dinosaur slippers notwithstanding).
He chooses most of the movies we watch, and he so loves a comedy – I think his laugh is genuinely one of the most fabulous sounds in the world.
He’s starting to show a preference for who he wants to spend time with (not mummy that’s for sure) and who he calls his friends. Again, he has very discerning taste, they must be kind and make him laugh, and of course like dressing up. His teacher recently told me that she loves having Maxwell in her class as he helps the other children try hard to regulate their emotions when he has accidentally upset them as they know he’d never do it on purpose – what a wonderful skill to have.
He’s also starting to understand about Down Syndrome and that he has the condition, which is amazing and unexpected.
He can point out others who also have it, and can tell us which of his friends do and which don’t. It’s fascinating to see how he interacts differently when he’s in a group of his friends who all have Down Syndrome, everything seems to be so much easier, like they have a secret language or extra sensory perception.
He is definitely moving into a new phase of independence, where he knows what he likes and is able to say what he doesn’t like.
He’s now choosing his own food, clothes to wear and toys he wants for Christmas and his birthday – although he hasn’t quite grasped the concept of time so is a little impatient when he can’t have it right now! He has also worked out how to help himself to snacks and is raiding the fridge at all times of the day and night.
It’s such a joy to watch him grow in confidence as well as in height – he recently grew out of his booster seat, which is another huge milestone and one I wasn’t expecting so soon.
I’m excited to see how his choices in life shape where he goes next.
At the moment he is all about becoming a chef when he’s older. He loves to cook and insists on helping me with every meal which makes for an interesting experience, especially when he wanders off mid-way through to go and get changed into a superhero outfit or to get his Lego characters to come and help!
Maxwell is definitely Maxwell, like no other child with or without Down Syndrome.
He is funny and kind and loves life. He adores his family, friends and all animals – dogs especially, snakes not so much. He loves trying new things and making discoveries, especially finding a new food he likes! He teaches us every day that life should be fun and is for living to the full, and every day he makes me laugh.
I am so thankful for having him in our family and I cannot wait to see what he will achieve in the next 10 years.
Happy birthday to my beautiful, charming boy.