Why we did Capital to Coast

Early in 2004, my husband, Adam & I (Lisa) were already proud parents of 3 sons: Twins Lucas & Jordan (12 years old) and Mason (8 years old) but we had a little surprise due to us - I was pregnant for a third time and we were both thrilled!  We had obviously hoped to complete our family with a girl and were absolutely over the moon when the sexing scan had showed that, indeed, we were expecting just that - our first daughter!  Because I was 37 years of age, I had been given the serum blood test which was to establish any risk of Down's syndrome, Spina Bifida or the like, the results of which were over  250/1 chance of being affected and an amniocentisis was ruled out immediately, because the 'risk was so low'.  The pregnancy went really well and knowing our baby was a girl, we had no trouble in deciding on a name - Madison (after a beautiful little girl I had taught previously), Pamela (after my late mother) and Paige (a name we both loved).  A caesarian birth was booked for 22nd October (the day after daddy's birthday!

Lucas, Jordan & Mason had gone to school (against their wishes!) and Grandma Teresa would pick them up later and bring them to the hospital.  I was due to have the caesarian that morning and after a little wait and preparation, all was under way by late morning.  This was the third caesarian with an epidural for us, so we were quite used to the procedure and quite relaxed and excited.

The operation seemed to go really well and when a baby girl (quite rightly predicted) was delivered and put onto my tummy I immediately thought she looked like my youngest son Mason when he was born and we both cried tears of joy.  Suddenly though, baby Madison was 'whisked away' to be 'cleaned up'.   The midwife then hit us with the shocking news that our new baby daughter had Down's syndrome.  After being on the most wonderful high welcoming our much awaited beautiful new daughter into the world, that world seemed to have come crashing down around us!  I went numb and just couldn't believe this dreadful news!  I wasn't supposed to have a baby that wasn't perfect!  I had been cheated!  How could I possibly look after a handicapped baby?  Would she have to be put into a home?  Would everybody avoid us from now on?  These, I'm ashamed to say, were the initial thoughts that went through our minds.  There were many tears over the next couple of hours and even days, but somehow I just couldn't stop cuddling my little girl.

Of course she was perfect - to us anyway!  What had I been thinking?!  I loved this little darling baby with all my heart as much (if not more) than my sons and was never going to let any harm come to her.  We decided we could just hide away and ignore the fact she was different or face up to it and get some more information and support - that just goes to show how ignorant we were back then - we knew absolutely nothing about Down's syndrome and assumed we'd never have to!  (A fact that we are tremendously ashamed of today).   The next course of action was to speak to someone about it and we were given the name and number of The Down's Syndrome Association.

On leaving hospital, I rang the DSA, who were so informative and really lovely to speak to. I even had a few tears on the phone, but the person at the other end reassured me that it was so natural and that it will all feel daunting at first but that they were here for me and would answer any questions I had.  It was lovely to speak to someone who could answer my questions and the two things I learned the most from that one phone call was 1. Children with Down's syndrome are so much more accepted into society now and lead fuller lives than they ever did in the past and 2. I wasn't the only mother out there having just given birth to a Down's baby.  I had a good nights sleep that night! I was also told that you shouldn't call other children 'normal' children, because Maddie isn't ABnormal, they should be called 'ordinary' children, because Maddie is EXTRAordinary!! (I like that!)

After that call, I would often go onto their website to look things up or read about the latest research into education and health in people with Down's syndrome and I really don't think I could have coped as well as I did had I not been in touch with them because the health professionals around me couldn't seem to answer my questions.   Thanks to their information, I was able to put myself in touch with local professionals who deal primarily with either children with Down's syndrome or special needs and Maddie is currently happily attending the local mainstream pre-school and has made lots of new friends - she IS being accepted after all, just like the DSA had said she would be!!

Adam had been running and cycling for charity for a number of years before Maddie was born and continues to cycle for charity now.  Obviously we have chosen the DSA as our charity so that we feel we can give a little bit back to them as a thank you for all the help and support they gave us, and continue to give us throughout each milestone in Maddie's life.  This year Adam and our two eldest sons, Lucas & Jordan (who are now 16) will be riding in the Capital to Coast bike ride and we have managed to get a team of nearly 30 people together to ride for the 4 charities: Norwood, Southern FM help a local child, Sparks and, of course, The Down's Syndrome Association.  One day it would be so lovely to think that Madison will ride it too!  Now that really would be something!  Good luck everyone!