Living with Max - Toilet Talk

Max indulges in toilet talk. This has proved very useful, if a little wounding at times. It allows us to get a small, honest glimpse of his world. He finds it a big challenge to articulate his concerns and worries in life. So overhearing his inner most secrets is like a mainline artery to his thoughts. Why he is able to chat away for hours in the privacy and comfort of the toilet, his thoughts tumbling forth like a stream, yet when faced with a concerned parent he clams shut, I have yet to fathom.

When I say privacy, I appreciate that technically we are shamelessly invading his privacy and therefore spying, I'll fess up the slightly cheeky guilt of invading our 16-year-old's sanctity of thoughts, but I cannot resist. And it's not just me that does it. We've all sussed the merits of casting an ear in the direction of the toilet once Max's familiar frame disappears for a ‘session'. I have no idea why he chats to himself, it's like he needs to verbalise his thoughts in order for them to be real.

We've even been known to gather en mass outside the toilet, me, Paul and our other 14-year-old Charlie, silent as mice listening to Max rant on about a situation that has him vexed or some person giving him grief. Some of his chat, as well as being informative, can be funny too. We get to sample all the thinkings of a teenager with Down's syndrome, good and bad. And all our family members have given up on the notion of secrets!

"That Mum! She drives me crazy. I need her to be quiet, I'm going to say I'm ill, I don't want to go to school today," or, "It's all that Charlie's fault. I'm going to tell Dad," or even, "I'm not going to tell Mum and Dad I took the money from Mum's desk. I'm, going to buy a DVD."

Then there's the singing. This morning it was Diana Ross's ‘Chain Reaction'. Blasted at full volume, with the odd warble when he got to bits he couldn't quite remember. The radio fails to compete, so we don't bother with it anymore. It's best to just embrace the joy of the moment. That's one of the many priceless things Max has taught us all.

Sandy Lewis

To read more of life with Sandy and her son Max, check out her blog.

Or purchase her book 'Living with Max' by visiting Rbooks.